The Ranking System

For years, Keith, me, and our friends have been trying to subjectively rank Seinfeld episodes. Each of us has an unofficial top 10 (Keith and I will post our before we get into episode rankings) but it seems as if that top 10 is probably more of a top 17 (that we call a top 10) and it seems as though it is always in flux. This is why coming up with a numerical scoring system to rank the episodes is important for our project. It isn’t perfect, as it still relies on human subjectiveness; it just does so in a more organized, categorized manner. Without further ado, an explanation of our scoring system:

1. Category 1: Subplots (40 pts; 10 per main character) – This is the most substantive portion of the ranking. Each episode of the show follow the four main characters through their daily lives, and each episode has a mini-theme for each character. Therefore, each main character’s subplot will be scored on a scale from 0-10 and these scores will be added to form a score out of 40. The subplot will be scored on the general enjoyment, cleverness, and memorable nature of it.
2. Category 2: Pop Culture Relevance (15 pts) – On a scale of 0-15 we will rank the episode on where it made its mark on the cultural zeitgeist. There are many aspects of the show that have made it into mainstream pop culture’s regular rotation; examples include “yadda yadda yadda” and “not that there’s anything wrong with it”. The degree to which this appears in the given episode will be judged here.
3. Category 3: Secondary/tertiary characters (15 pts) – The lifeblood of any good show is a cast of secondary characters who make memorable appearances throughout the season. Seinfeld has a plethora of these, which is one of the things that make it so good. Examples here are Newman, Puddy, Mr. and Mrs. Costanza, and Uncle Leo. Tertiary characters appear a few times, maybe only once or twice. One of Seinfeld’s major contributions to television, I think, was that it had so many good tertiary characters. Examples include the Soup Nazi, the Virgin, and Franklin Delano Romanowski. The episode will be graded on which secondary/tertiary characters appear and what they do.
4. Category 4: Quotability (15 pts) – If you are nerds like us, you apply Seinfeld quotes to everyday situations, or else you just randomly mention funny lines from the show. A personal favorite: “…I’m just drivin ‘round in Jon Voight’s car!” The grade here will be given on the degree to which one quotes the episode.
5. Category 5: Inner-connectivity (10 pts) – Seinfeld has a way of wrapping each show up so that all of the subplots are tied together. Does the episode do this in a creative way? Then it will score high here!
6. Category 6: Overall Enjoyment/Miscellaneous (5 pts) – There are some things that can’t be explained. Those things will go here. It’s also a way to fudge up the numbers if a clunker of an episode like “The Dog” were somehow on pace to beat a better episode.
7. Bonus (up to 5 pts): Bonus can be assigned for any reason. One of the reasons I will assign bonus is because of the end credits vignette and how good/bad it is. We are free to assign up to 5 points of bonus for any reason here.

That is how we will rank the episodes. Since there are around 180 original episodes, there will inevitably be many ties. When two or more episodes have the same score, we can break the tie however we want! Next on the blog, Keith and I will post initial thoughts on personal top 10 episode lists and explain why we think they will rank so highly.

Allow Myself to introduce ... Myself

So it may be a week after the blog launched, but I'm here. I was never one for doing things in a timely manner. You can ask my college buddies, college professors, or family members (specifically my sister who is still waiting on her April 30th birthday gift). But it's out of this lack of timeliness that The Seinfeld Project (TSP) was born.

As Josh mentioned we have been close friends for some time now, and this came about in college. We both went to a small college that required you to live on campus for all four of your years. Some people find that to be a drag, but I do not. One of the clear side effects is that it teaches the much needed socialization skills that are needed in most work environments. It was during these years, living on a hall with my closest friends, that I discovered my love of Seinfeld.

It was the perfect combination of Mountain Dew and Mozzarella. Just the right amount of grease on the joystick. Ok, not really, but Seinfeld fans will recognize the reference. But my point is the show was on rerun almost any time of the evening. Classes, should one attend, filled up most of the day, and an Intramural Sports affair covered the afternoon. But after dinner, oh those glorious hours after dinner, you could watch Seinfeld on : TBS, Fox, the out-of-town Fox affiliate that we got, back to TBS, late night Fox, and late night Fox on the out-of-town affiliate again. If one played their cards right you could watch maybe 7 or 8 Seinfelds a day!

For all the reasons that Josh mentioned before, the quotes, the cultural relevance, the comraderie with friends, the similarities to every day life which is often just about nothing, and the characters, the show hooked me. I can remember purchasing the DVD releases of the TV show the first day each one was released. I have watched the through and through (with and without the Notes About Nothing feature turned on). So we embark on this project, ranking the Seinfelds.

So join us on a journey to George's Parents House, Elaine's Life, Kramer's Hair-Brained Ideas, and invariably Jerry's Apartment. We hope you do.

New Addition!

Not to be confused with New Edition.

I am pleased to annouce that Keith Davis will be joining me as a co-author/owner of this blog. Keith and I went to high school together but didn't know each other real well; Keith was kind of a nerd and I was kind of a kiss-ass. Then, he came to Grove City College as a freshman when I was a sophomore. He was rooming with Justin Blakeslee, a mutual friend of ours, and when I would come down to visit Justin, I would invariably find Keith playing video games. We got a little closer that year. Finally, during my junior year, we became good friends. He was friends with Ryan and Sam, two guys that lived on my hall and were members of my housing group, the CRONS. He started playing video games with us, we started watching Steeler games together, hanging out in the Cranberry area whenever we could, etc. He applied for membership to the CRONS, was invited to join, and was asked to be my roommate for senior year. We've been close friends for most of the time since.

As mentioned in the maiden post, the whole ranking of Seinfeld episodes idea was Keith's. I'd imagine it was about 4 years ago. He was in his job as an admission counselor at GCC, living in Grove City, and we were sharing our mutual love of lists, when he said that he started to rank Seinfeld episodes based on a numerical scale. I immediately loved the idea and asked if I could join him. Four years (or so) later, here we are, about to embark on sharing our thoughts about the greatest TV show ever.

This was all meant as a welcome to Keith, even though nobody reads the blog at this time. Welcome Keith, I look forward to working with you on this ambitious project. I can't wait to see where and how we differ on the episodes of the best TV show ever.

Welcome to the Project!

This project begins with one unassailable assumption: Seinfeld is the greatest television show of all-time. This is undoubtedly true. I was a mere lad of 8 years old when the pilot, under the working title of The Seinfeld Chronicles, premiered in 1989. I was a 17 year old high school junior while watching the finale, joining the conspiratorial discussions about the meaning of the final scene of the show. In between, over 180 original episodes of the show aired, and I didn't see most of them during the original run. I'm pretty sure that the reason was because my parents wouldn't allow me to watch it.

After the show's run ended on NBC in May 1998, countless hours of my life have been spent watching, thinking about, discussing, and (of course) quoting the greatest television show of all time. That shouldn't come across as being as lame as it ultimately does; most of my best friends enjoy the show as much as I do, so it's something over which we are able to bond. This is why the show is the best; after being off the air for 11 years, it still seems as fresh and hysterical to me as it did the first time seeing each episode. For some people, the show has been tarnished by events occurring after the show's end (Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm and Michael Richards' racist rant being the two most prominent). This fortunately hasn't been true for me.

The goal of this blog is to combine two passions of mine: the greatest television show of all time, and lists. I think most Seinfeld aficionados have thought through their favorite episodes of the show before; it's a favorite pastime of mine. However, it's really difficult to come up with a list of top ten episodes just off the top of one's head. Therefore, I am going to come up with a systematic ranking of every episode. There is a very specific set of criteria which I am going to use; in fact, I would call it a rubric. There will be categories, and points, and descriptions of how the episode can achieve the highest score in each category. The scores will be tallied and kept, and a rank order of all episodes will be achieved. I have to give credit to my friend Keith for this; he had started to do this a couple of years ago, and I loved the idea. We were going to do it simultaneously but it hasn't happened yet; maybe this will be the impetus for him to join me. I have tweaked Keith's system a bit. The system will be unveiled in the next post (I am still finalizing it).

Until then..."that's it for me, you've been great!"